Trapped in Time
by Loudo
Summary: After defeating Savanti Romero, the Turtles are stucked in the Cretaceous with Renet. However, that is not the reason why Raphael suddenly feels like a prisoner in time. Warning: Contains Turtlecest.


Raph silently signaled Renet to get closer and drew his sai. From behind the bush where they were hiding, Raph had just spotted a strange prehistoric creature that looked somewhat like a weasel. He was sure Donnie would have been able to tell him what its name was, but he didn't particularly care. Raph had already given a fitting name to the little creature: lunch.

"Oh, look Raph!" Renet cried out as soon as she got to Raph's side, "There's a prey there!"

The animal immediately looked at their direction. Raph jumped out of the bush with a growl and tried to impale his prey, but the animal had already started to run away. Raph's sai pierced the ground. He quickly pulled it out and prepared for another jump. When he saw that the animal was already far away, he decided to save his energies.

"It _was_ there!" Raph said with an annoyed voice, "What the shell, Renet! Keep it down while we're huntin', will ya?"

Renet followed Raph out of the bush. "Oh, I'm so sorry, Raphie," she said, "It's so hard for me to be all stealthy and stuff like you guys. But I promise, I'm totally going to make up for it. Next time, I'm going to catch an animal at least _this_ big." She held her hands before her, about 20 inches apart.

_"Yeah, right,"_ Raph thought. They had been stuck in the Cretaceous for three weeks now, and Renet had yet to prove herself useful in _any_ way. She often volonteered to hunt or to go fishing, but one of the turtles always went with her. They knew they would have skipped the meal otherwise.

"Okay," Raph said, holding up a finger, "Rule number one when we go huntin' together: do not talk. Just follow my lead, ok?"

"Got it. Oh, wait, I wasn't supposed to answer, was I? Sorry."

Raph rolled his eyes. "Whatever," he said, sitting down, "Let's take five." Renet was giving him a headache.

Raph leaned against a tree and closed his eyes. While it sucked to be trapped in prehistory, especially since they were going to face extinction very soon, he enjoyed hunting. He loved the challenge, and he loved to kill his own food. It made him feel alive. It made him feel a real man.

"Hey Raphie, look!" Renet interrupted his thoughts. "A heart-shaped stone."

Raph snapped his eyes open and looked at the rock she was holding. _"What's so special 'bout it?"_ he thought, _"How dumb can this girl be?"_

"Isn't it totally romantic?" she continued, "And perfect too: tomorrow's Valentine's Day!"

"How do ya tell?" Raph asked skeptically.

"Hmm, hello?" she said, pointing to herself, "Timestress?"

Raph nodded and took the stone from her hand. He examined it pretending to be interested, just to have an excuse not to look at her.

"I mean, being able to tell the date is something you learn in Basic Timestering classes, first grade," Renet was saying, "I'm not _that_ bad at time magic, you know."

Renet stopped talking and noticed Raph's interest in the stone. "You can keep it. Maybe you could give it to your lover when we go back to the camp? After all, it's not like we're going to bump into a shop, that's the best you can get for him. It totally sucks that I..."

It took a few seconds for Raph to process what Renet had just said. When he did, his eyes widened.

"WHAT?"

Renet stopped talking and gave him a confused look.

"What did you just say?" Raph said, squeezing the rock in his fist, "My lover? _Him?_"

Renet scratched his head. "Yeah, your broth... Oh wait, that hasn't happened yet, has it?"

Raph was staring at her, completely shocked.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry. I keep doing that," Renet whined, "Can't you... I don't know, like... forget I said that?"

Raph stood up and gave Renet a challenging look. "I'm not gay," he said, daring her to deny it.

"There's nothing wrong with being gay, you know," Renet said, "In fact, I've been in a lot of different time periods and..."

"There's nothing wrong with it as long as I'm not," Raph said sharply.

"Okay, okay, geez."

Silence fell between them. Raph opened his fist and looked again at the rock.

"And ya can't tell me incest ain't wrong," Raph suddenly snapped, "Yer tellin' me I'd... That's _gross_, okay? Only thinking about it makes me sick. It's never gonna happen."

Renet finally got up as well. "Look, I already said I'm sorry, okay? Can we, like, drop the subject, please?"

She picked up her spear. "You ready? I'm totally going to keep my promise, you'll see."

Renet started to walk away, but Raph didn't follow her.

He closed his eyes. He mentally saw himself fuck Leo.

_"This is wrong, Raphael," Leonardo's voice lectured him, "You shouldn't indulge in these urges. You must stay focused on your ninja training, nothing else matters. Besides, I'm the leader, shouldn't I be on top?"_

Then he saw himself having sex with Donnie.

_"This is wrong, Raphael," Donatello's voice criticized, "We can't have unprotected sex, it's not safe. Unfortunately, they don't make prophylactics big enough for a turtle, so I'm afraid anal intercourse is out of the picture. And no, I'm not giving you an oral until you let me run a few blood tests. Don't you know how many STDs you can get? I'll tell you what, I'll just invent a machine that sends impulses of sexual pleasure directly to your brain. What do you say? It's much safer, trust me."_

Then he saw himself mounting Mikey.

_"Dude, can I go get a comic book or something?" Michelangelo told him, "I'm bored."_

Raph shook his head and opened his eyes. Why did he have to think about that?

"Renet!" Raph called.

The Timestress stopped and looked back.

"Who is he?" Raph asked her, not daring look at her in the eyes.

Renet smiled apologetically. "Huh, the right one?"


End file.
